Slowing down and living in the moment

It seems that my life these days has increasingly been about being in a hurry.  Hurry to work, hurry home, hurry through dinner, cleanup and getting ready for the next day.  I am so worn out mentally and physically from my day that starts at 6AM that by dinner time, as a friend (whose thoughts eerily parallels mine sometimes) already eloquently put, I am done.  I am ready to decompress by vegetating in front of a television.

Unfortunately, this can’t happen until Soso is in bed.  So, I hurry through the bedtime routine.  Hurry through brushing her teeth, hurry through bath, (come on Soso, hurry up!) hurry through books, do a quick prayer and finally goodnight!  Except for a long time Soso would ask me to sleep with her for just two minutes.  “Just two minutes, Mommy?”  How could I say no?  I didn’t, but like my friend, I was there and not there.  I was in hurry.  My mind was elsewhere and I gave those two minutes grudgingly.  I probably even sped up the time.

Two days ago, I noticed that Soso no longer asks for those two minutes.  I guess she has out grown the routine.  And now perversely, I am sad that she no longer asks, that she no longer needs those two minutes for comfort.  It is another sign that she is growing up.  I am sad that Soso is growing older and yet ironically I was “hurrying” the process along by rushing through our times.

So, I had a couple of revelations, perhaps not new to anyone else but to myself.   One, it seems like I am hurrying all day in order to finally slow down in front of a television set.   Two, these little moments with my daughter will not last forever however long it may seem at the time.  So, three, perhaps I should slow down and be in the moment with my daughter (instead of a TV) who as she puts it, “can’t stop growing”.  After all, as my friend stated, it is a wonderful place to be.

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