A parenting magazine I get had an article about six kinds of friends a mom should have. One, a mom going through similar stages as you to sympathize and empathize with ; two, a been there done that mom for advice; and three, a glam mom to show you that you don’t have to sink into motherhood fuddy-duddiness. Then four, you need a friend who’s going to be completely honest with you to set you on the straight and narrow; five, a single friend who you can go out and have fun with and finally six, a friend who will do anything for you.
They don’t have to be six separate individuals. It is possible that a friend can fit many roles. But the point is that it is important to have this kind of support.
When I became a mom, I found a wonderful online community of other moms, a lot of them exactly like me, a first time mom and some that were BTDT (been there done that) moms. Yes, they even had that acronym attached to them. These women all had children born in the same month and year as Soso and they were absolutely invaluable source of comfort and support for me for almost three years. Their active support, advices and mostly their own intimate stories of successes as well as failures, their trials and tribulations all helped me to feel that I was not alone and that I was quite normal in a way that I didn’t with real life moms. I will be forever grateful to them because I KNOW that they helped me to be a better mother and a better person.
So, I totally understand the value to having the first two kinds of friends. I can see why a glam mom could be helpful, too. I don’t have one in real life, but I aspire to be a glam mom myself (HA!) so I guess that’s OK! I have one single friend and after reading the article, I realized that I need to be a better friend if I want to keep her! I think it is possible to have other mom friends to go out and have fun with and hopefully one day I’ll have that as well. I think all of my friends would be honest with me and if all else fails, DH will fill in the gap.
Now for the friend who would do anything for me. Well, I’m missing that one! The irony is that I would be that kind of a friend to someone. I would do a lot for someone I love… heck I would do a lot for people I don’t love if they were in need. And hopefully one day I’ll get to be that kind of a friend to someone who can be that kind of a friend to me.