Yelling

Yelling has never been a parenting technique I wanted to adopt.  Or get into a habit of doing.  My mother never yelled at me.  Seriously.  And I stayed mostly on the straight and narrow.  In any case, I don’t find it very effective.    At the very worst, it can be abusive and damaging.  Even not at the worst, it is hurtful.  Of course, I’m talking about persistent yelling, not the occasional ones that we are all guilty of.  And yet, I find myself yelling at Soso with increasing frequency.

I can blame many things.  Stress from work, stress from the house renovation, the cold that makes me miserable and snappy, 5 year old stubbornness, but in the end I have to take responsibility and blame myself.  I have become lax in using a discipline technique that worked the last time I find myself starting to yell.  Soso was almost 3 at the time.  I started using the 1-2-3 method.  I would tell her to do something the first time.  The second time, I would give her a warning and her consequence for not listening, time-outs or a loss of a priviledge.  The third time, she would get her consequence.

It worked beautifully.  After a couple of weeks, I didn’t even have to go to 2.  I guess I stopped using the method because I no longer needed it.  Well, I realized today that I need to use the method again after I yelled at her  about the same thing that I’ve been yelling at her for the past two weeks.  Like I said, I don’t find yelling all that effective.  I guess I forgot about that.

So, after I apologized for yelling, Soso and I talked.  I told her that we need to go back to using 1-2-3.  I think she understood.  We’ll see how well it works now that she’s older.  I’m hoping she still hates time-outs as much as she used to.  There aren’t too many privileges for her to lose.  She hardly ever watches TV, plays video games or eats junk food.  I guess this will work better when Santa gets her the DS!

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