We have finally started getting the house back in order. Remember this?
All the plastic sheets are down. See the brown paper on the floor? They have all been lifted. It felt a little weird at first, especially in the living room. I felt exposed and kind of vulnerable sitting on the sofa without the thick plastic providing privacy and keeping the heat in. I felt, almost naked. Perhaps akin to how a baby would feel at birth? I even reacted like one, “Wah! I want my warmth back! I want my plastic bubble back! Wah!”
This weekend, we started moving and emptying the boxes. Boxes of books. Boxes of CDs. Boxes of 10 years worth of accumulated stuff. Lastly, boxes of baby stuff. Newborn clothes. Baby toys. Monitors. Receiving blankets. The books went back on the bookcases. The baby stuff all went back into the new closet, almost filling up the entire space. I’m still way too emotionally attached to them.
But a few things. Mind you, literally, only a few things, I was ready to give up. Nursing bras and pads. Gone, in the trash. An old diaper bag that was free from the hospital. Gone, in the trash. A plastic diaper caddy that hangs off the crib. Freecycled. A shopping cart cover that I never liked anyway. Freecycled. That was about all I could handle this weekend.
I figured, if a miracle happened, I deserved new bras anyway. I mean, who wants to wear 5 – 10 year old bras, right?
I think next week, I can work on the bottles. I should get new bottles, what with all the BPA free stuff.
Then the pump. Really, the pump should go next. Because even if a miracle happened, I don’t EVER want to pump again. EVER. Really, I should bronze it and put it up on a shelf like a trophy with a placard stating, “Exclusively Pumped For 1 Year, 1 Week and 1 day”. It was, physically, the hardest thing I have ever done. Harder than giving birth. Harder that all the belly and butt shots. Harder than running a 5 mile race with a cold. But that would be weird, right? Seeing a bronzed breast pump displayed in our living room. Yeah, the pump is definitely next.
Anyway, the positive to the house renovation is that we got an opportunity to go through things while packing or unpacking. We donated a lot of books and clothes. It allowed me give everything a thorough cleaning. I always feel uplifted after a thorough cleaning. It allowed me to free up some storage space, albeit equivalent to about 1 large box.
Lastly, in cleaning and purging some of the physical things, it allowed me to emotionally and mentally let go of some baggage as well. Baggage that kept my heart shrouded and fragile. So, I’m a little sad. But I, also feel kind of free.