Going nowhere on a treadmill

No, this post is not about exercise, but rather my life.  Treadmill seems to be an apt metaphor of my life.  Walking constantly and yet going nowhere.  Sometimes, it feels even worse, like I’m on a hamster wheel, not only going nowhere but trapped in a cage.  Yeah, kinda depressing right?

So, what set me off on this feeling?  Lots and lots of things that are way too long to go into right now. Sorry, don’t you hate that?  I’m not trying to be coy.  Well, I’ll mention one thing.  Trying for a second child.  ‘Nuff said.

I can tell you in more detail what set me off on this post.  About 3.5 years ago, I made a list of “6 materialistic wish” and I happen to see the post today.  I had totally forgotten about this list.  On it were:

1. Nikon Digital SLR Camera
2. An hour-long massage
3. Diamond earrings
4. Black pants suit
5. Black heels to go with the suit
6. Tickets to Carmen at the Met

So, how sad that I’m still working on getting that camera!  Or that I have not managed to fit in that one hour-long message in THREE AND A HALF YEARS!  Diamond earrings… OK, you know that’s expensive and not necessary .  But to not have seen Carmen either… let’s add to the pathetic factor.  Although the list was made in 2007, I’ve been wanting to see Carmen since 1997.  Seriously pathetic, no?

So, the only two things off my list is the suit and shoes.  I’ve actually bought many black heels since the list.  May be that’s where my massage/Carmen money went.

Well, I’ve been shamed into setting an end date to this list.  I am getting off this particular treadmill!  Camera will be purchased by the end of this month.  Guarantee it.  I will pamper myself with a massage by the end of summer.  I’ll probably need it after the Peru trip.  And I will go see Carmen by the end of the year (or at least the Met Season since I have no idea when a Carmen production will be on) even if I have to go by myself!

I’ll take the earrings off my list because, again unnecessary expense.  But I am going to create my “bucket” list and I am going to accomplish them.  Some parts of my life, aside from aging, has to move forward.


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