Faith

Remember this whiny post I wrote when I was down in the dumps about adoption?  All because the wait time got longer another month longer and I’ve already been waiting for my family to be complete for over 4 years, blah, blah, blah?

I just stumbled upon a blog by an adoptive mom.  She adopted a little girl from China who’s the same age as Soso.  She’s been waiting on her second baby from China for 4.5 years.  Very close to our time frame, except we started off still hoping for a bio baby.  She has a whole category of posts on “waiting” and I’m put to shame again.  She talks about how it takes a lot of faith when the wait is so long, about how she’s learning the true meaning of faith in her journey.

May be she’s right.  May be my faith is being tested.  And may be I need to go back to having some faith that this long process has a purpose.  That the fact that I can’t give up on an idea of a second child has a meaning…. that I shouldn’t give up on it.  And may be I  need to continue to have faith and it will happen when it needs to happen and not when I want it to.

Phew.  It is so hard.  It makes my heart and head hurt.  And I hate having anything hurt.  Yeah, you know I’m just a big wuss and have no tolerance for pain.  My Mom loves to tell the story of when I was fourfiveorsix and got a cut and she found me crying hysterically because I thought I was going to die.  Drama, much?  Hm, may be the drama tendencies of Soso does stem from me!  Here I’ve unfairly been blaming D.

Anyway, I guess I need to work on my faith.  Here I thought I was arealdy such a person of faith!  I guess this is “humble Me” week.

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