This morning started off well. I got up early and ran for 30 minutes without dying. I had taken about two weeks off after the race. Getting up to run at all was a big accomplishment. I was feeling alive, energized and oh-so-proud of myself.
Then, in between stretching and sipping water, I forgot that it was Monday. As in, I have to go to work Monday. So, I putzed around in the kitchen, tidying up and wasting VALUABLE MINUTES. Valuable because on a work morning, especially if I run, every single minute counts or I’m late for work.
While I ran to shower, I asked my dear husband to make coffee for me.
How to make a cup of coffee
Time: 30 minutes
- 1 forgetful wife
- 1 husband who has never made coffee
- 1 coffee pot maker
- 2 scoops of coffee
- 2 dollars
- Ask husband to make a cup of coffee. Assume that he can follow simple instructions, “Put in two scoops of coffee grind, a cup of water and turn the machine ON.”
- Ignore first premonition that things may go wrong when he shouts from the kitchen, “Do I need to put the lid on?”
- Continue to ignore warning when husband asks the same question three times, “The lid on the coffee pot?”
- Continue to have hope that a coffee will be waiting for you even though the husband comes upstairs with the pot to verify that I really, really did mean yes when I said three times, “Yes the lid on the pot needs to be on!”
- Continue to have hope when you get in the kitchen and see that coffee machine is on and the lid is on the pot.
- Be surprised when you see that there’s actually no coffee in the pot.
- Ask dear husband, ” Why is there no coffee?”, but don’t expect an answer.
- Ask dear husband, “Did you put water in?” and don’t be surprised when he says, “No.”
- Do not yell at the damn husband.
- Do not bang your head on the granite counter top.
- Take a deep breath and try to find your center of calm.
- Do not yell at the husband when he helpfully says, “Why don’t you just buy coffee this morning?”
- Take more deep breaths.
- Do not feel bad and childish that you left without saying good-bye, feel proud of yourself that you did not bite his head off.
- Take your dear husband’s helpful suggestion and run to the nearest Dunkin Donuts.