Degrees of Unfairness

Sometimes, it is hard to look at life as glass half-full.  In that moment, it is easy to see life as degrees of unfairness.

Like when my mother-in-law died suddenly at 65, right after she retired.  Right after she had gotten her kitchen remodeled, something she had been dreaming about for years. She was looking forward to cooking in her new kitchen.  She even thought about taking cooking classes.  I thought, “How unfair.”

When my mom died 4 months ago, I thought, “Now, this is really unfair!”  I didn’t get to see her for 6 months and now she’s gone.  My  kids are going to grow up with no grandmothers.  I’m not even 40 and I don’t have a mom anymore.

I just found out that my friend’s husband who is only 38 years old, with two young girls died on Friday.  After he had just come home from a long stay in a hospital and rehab.  38 years old.  With two little girls, one who is Soso’s age.

I never thought I would be attending a funeral of so young at this time, but I will tomorrow.

Another friend said that I was strong for going.  She couldn’t do it.  The truth is, I don’t really want to go.  I’m afraid I’ll cry.  I feel so much pain for my friend as it is.  I’m afraid I won’t be strong enough for her and I’ll cry and cry and cry.  Having gone through two funerals already, I know that only makes the person cry also.

But, in the end, that’s the only thing I can do for my friend.  Just be there.  That’s what helped me the most when I was in need.  It helped me to feel less alone for a moment.  And she’s going to feel alone for a long, long time.

This is the most unfair of all.

 

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3 thoughts on “Degrees of Unfairness

  1. I’m so sorry to hear all of this. If there’s anything I can do, please just let me know. That’s a lot to handle, and it is strong of you to be there for your friend and her family. it will mean so much to her, i know.

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