Missing Mom

5 years have passed already and it happens less often, but once in a while… Just once in awhile, it creeps up on me and catches me unaware and I feel engulfed with sadness that she’s not with me now.

I struggle to remember her and I realize that the memories are fading.  As much as I’ve known her most of my life, 37 years in fact, all it takes is 5 years without her and the memories have already started taking on a wispy characteristic.  Hard to grasp and hold firm.  It probably doesn’t help because I have no one to help me keep her memories alive. My dad and brother and I, we don’t talk about Mom.

I miss my mom. I miss her terribly today.

Sad April Fool’s Day

Today’s the 3 year anniversary of my mom passing.  It felt like a bad joke then and it still feels a little like a bad joke now.  She didn’t get to celebrate her 75th birthday or see me turn 40 or Soso turn 10. She never met Peanut.  There are so many things we didn’t get a chance to do.  I miss her so much.

I love you Mom.  I miss you.  You would have gotten a kick out of Peanut who’s the opposite end of the spectrum in personality to Soso.  You would have been proud of the young lady Soso is becoming.  I hope you’re up there, putting in a good word for us, especially for your two granddaughters.